"I hit him!"-Luke "Great kid! Don't get cocky!"-Han
I was reminded of Star Wars today. I keep on finding myself being overconfident in my abilities, then literally or figuratively falling on my face(like I almost did running on the track at the recreation center the other day XD).So today, it wasn't quite a literal faceplant, but it was close. I'm home for the weekend, so I decided to run in our neighborhood. It's where I started seriously running last summer and its where I've run the farthest(still not very far), so you could say I'm pretty comfortable running its turns and hills. But apparently that doesn't mean I can't die running out there. It started with a poor choice of food: doughnuts and tea. And bad timing: running less than an hour after the last bite. And clothing: let's just say that board shorts should be used for the beach, not for running. And this is before even stepping out the door.
After stretching, I set off like I'm a real athlete or something, giddily running down the hill near my house. I think to myself, "You know you're going too fast, Kelsey; you should warm up, Kelsey," but the more adventurous half keeps on running like a mad fool as I think about how it doesn't get me out of breath anymore to run around school. The problem is that I run out of steam before the first mile is over. I have to stop to walk. "Ok, Kelsey, let's just take it down a notch and keep running after a break," I say to myself. But then it goes even more downhill from there as I go uphill. A combination of the hot sun beating down on my head(to my wintered body- it was only like 75 degrees out), lungs gasping for air, stomach lurching here and there, and legs feeling like a ton of lead makes me almost collapse before the second mile. Not for lack of trying; running today makes me want to throw up; it makes me want to collapse on the ground. I couldn't even run two miles today. And I had to literally drag my carcass back to my house another mile even having to sit down twice on these random curbs.
This has happened a couple of times with me running, where I get cocky and don't prepare enough or I think I prepare enough, but to no avail. The last time, ironically was when there was ice on the road and it was near freezing(instead of it warming up like today). So if I don't prepare myself correctly and don't pace myself the right way, it doesn't matter how many times I've run a certain course, I can still fail it miserably. Makes me humble - forces me to know I'm not all that.
I've seen myself do that in other areas of my life as well. First, school. I think by my third year of college, I'd be cool with how international affairs classes and Japanese classes work. How the testing goes. What kind of effort I need to put in. But instead I go out too much, roll out of bed late, don't study enough and expect the same kind of success I've had in the past. But you reap what you sow.
I live in the reality of not studying and taking a test where I don't know the major question, of wanting God to bless me without living how he would like me, of eating sugary food and dying on a run. I think this is where perseverance, humility, planning and priorities come in. Hopefully, I'll get 'em figured out. But at least Christ continues to teach me these things even through my failures.
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